Bitch.
How can one feel so shitty at the end of the night? I did'nt want things to end up like this. This is why I hide my pain for a reason. I tell my close friends my shit and they understand what I go through. They've been in my path and they tell me all these things that I honestly do NOT wanna hear. I listened to their advice and what do I get? I left myself with un-answered questions, and leaving myself miserable inside for a week or so. I left my problems and situations hidden DEEP inside my guts and I would'nt let it out! It's pain thinking "THIS & THAT". It's pain thinking my friends are right. I can't explain how I felt, but just know that.. It sucked to be me for a while. So much negative energy was flowing through my body. I had so much SHIT linger in my head. I did NOT know what to do. Friends and enemies talking bullshit from left-to-right. &With one slight move. Everything could go downhill. I've been trying so hard to hold in my anger and such! But it's so hard! Ugh, I keep hiding and hiding and hiding away my pain, and kept such a big-fat secret from him. I could've been hella real, But I chose not to. Instead of letting go of the pain. More was building up. This past 2 weeks has been so off for me. I kept everything hella chill and just made it seem like my "big-fat secret" was about something else. Knowing that he wanted to help out and how much he cared for me? It was pretty sad =/ I want to tell him, but why so hard? I could'nt? I can't? I am afraid? Am I scared? naw, i'm such a confused child!
How can one feel so shitty at the end of the night? I did'nt want things to end up like this. This is why I hide my pain for a reason. I tell my close friends my shit and they understand what I go through. They've been in my path and they tell me all these things that I honestly do NOT wanna hear. I listened to their advice and what do I get? I left myself with un-answered questions, and leaving myself miserable inside for a week or so. I left my problems and situations hidden DEEP inside my guts and I would'nt let it out! It's pain thinking "THIS & THAT". It's pain thinking my friends are right. I can't explain how I felt, but just know that.. It sucked to be me for a while. So much negative energy was flowing through my body. I had so much SHIT linger in my head. I did NOT know what to do. Friends and enemies talking bullshit from left-to-right. &With one slight move. Everything could go downhill. I've been trying so hard to hold in my anger and such! But it's so hard! Ugh, I keep hiding and hiding and hiding away my pain, and kept such a big-fat secret from him. I could've been hella real, But I chose not to. Instead of letting go of the pain. More was building up. This past 2 weeks has been so off for me. I kept everything hella chill and just made it seem like my "big-fat secret" was about something else. Knowing that he wanted to help out and how much he cared for me? It was pretty sad =/ I want to tell him, but why so hard? I could'nt? I can't? I am afraid? Am I scared? naw, i'm such a confused child!
Movie night yesterday. Spot tagged along with Me, Katie, and Kristi. He was so fucking irritating. He's such a bitch leaving me for Kim Dao. Fuck her!
FUCK KIM DAO!